My Valentine's Day

14th of February 2008, my Valentine's day is something special to me because it's the last time I ever get to be with Cindy Teh, who is my batch mate from my college.Cindy Teh will be leaving to Auckland University for futrther studies and also get a job there, apply for a pr in New Zealand.So Tonight, we had our Valentine's day and also a farewell dinner.... but only a short one because she has to help out on the sales at her work place.

I only know her during my college days, in my 1st and 2nd year I only see her around in college because to me she was one of the pretty ones that I've noticed,summore same batch as me . 1st year I was in cd42 and she was in cd43... then in 2nd year we sometimes be in a same class for 1 subject. So back then I don't really know her that well until came 2nd year 3rd term when my group wanted to find ppl to audition for our short film in our Storyboard project . So Cindy and Huey Ting was one of the girls to audition for the role, and from then on is when I got to know her well ( She wasn't in the short film because she had a tight schedule with her subjects).

I got to know her very well in 3rd year, and after that ...we all have been working after we graduate. So it's been like almost 8 months that we've not seen each other.It was great, I'll miss her as a good friend. We met at Bangsar Village II and had our dinner and Marco's Pizza...before we meet at the place, I had to quickly find and buy flowers for her because it's Valentine's Day. Run everywhere outside the complex and finally bought it for her.Now , after I've not seen her for a long time...she looks really great, she is thinner than last time! I think as thin as Regine Tan. One thing great about her is her smile and laughter, it just really brightens up your day. And she is always calm in any situation , optimistic and positive.

I'm gonna miss you dearly, Cindy Teh Syok Leh (I hope it's correct spelling >.< ) , I'll always remember the laughing queen in you.LoL, I'll keep in touch with u while you're in Auckland and please be safe and do your best over there =).

A Boy who Entered in to Another Realm.

Somewhere deep within our sleep, our vast sub-concious mind somehow able to transport our dream in to a mysterious unknown realm of un explored places. A place that we never have it in our mind at all, somewhere we don't even know or have not seen before. A realm where we begin to explore new things, something out of an ordinary from our real world.Is this another realm where we can only see in our dreams? Is there such thing exist?

A boy sleeping silently on his bed , somehow.....his dreams is unpleasent. Darkness in his dreams haunts him, unknown to what sin he has done so bad to deserve this frightful dream. He felt like he was being chase by something horrible, he was running in an abandon street which ends up in a deep and dark forest. Not bothered by the problem,he ran in to the forest. THe screaming and wailing of many creatures echoed through out the Dark forest which is giving him the chills that everything is haunting him now. He then suddenly felt like something is pulling him away , he thought it could be whatever it is that chase him has caught up to him.The boy tried to reach out to a small light calling to his mother, his father... his siblings, his friends and his one and only Lenore, the person he cared the most who he never got the chance to express his love at all. They could not hear him,they could not hear his calling.... his voice is not powerful enough to reach out to them. He was pulled harder and faster into the darkness.

From the darkness, he pop out and crash into a garden so colorful that it seems out of the ordinary. Trying to shake off from the intense ride, and figuring out the strange event that had occured.He look behind him at the direction he was pulled from , and all he could see is a vast scenery of a beatiful shore, he is on a garden by a cliff. Looking down which what it seems to be a land unknown to him. Nothing he has ever seen before. Trees were taller with many different color leaves, fruits that look so riped. Stones and rock which are so smooth that not even a single jagged edges or cracks were on it. River flowing with color reflections, clouds so golden that it seems like the richest of all things are in the sky. the lands are reflected by it's color but ofcourse it does look like it's a green plain land. There are a few settlements build on this land, some are side by side, some are single, some are build by the cliff or in a mountains, some are even in the sky supported by long stretch pillars of stones.

The boy began to explore the place, walking towards the settlements....still keeping an eye on his surrounding and staying alert, just incase something would pull him out again. As he approach the settlements, he could not believe in his eyes that some of the design of the buildings is so different and more unique than the real buildings from where he came. They are identical to each other, But he could recognized a building which looks like his house! But there are some slightly abit different part on that house because of it's surroundings. He approach the civilian , they look no different from a human, in fact...they are human. Dressing is not even out dated, they are like the same trend as his. This is all just too puzzeling to him.

He continue on in his exploration, he wave and greet each person he sees. As he approach his somewhat of his house, he is being greeted by a very soft and cheerful voice inside the house, somehow...the girl sounded really familiar to him. The grilled door open and came out a girl, she's about 4'9 with a really slim work out body , she wore a light blue small t-shirt with a really short pants...She has long slight wavy brunnete hair and a slightly tan skin.Her eyes, are like emeralds, she has lips pinkish enough which doesn't require and lip sticks on it, the beauty of her face that somehow could brighten up your day at any time with those beautiful gorgeous smile of hers. She ran towards me , greeting me by hopping last minute from her run.... with the most cheerful voice ever. He paused for the moment , and look at her. "Wait a minute!" He touch her face and clear out her frindge that's blocking some part of her face. He touch her soft cheek and ask in curiosity..... "Lenore!?Why are you here?"

She replied "What do you mean, I'm always here. Stop goofing around, your parents are waiting for you." She grabs him by his hand which it was on her cheek and began to pull her in to the house , she behaves like a cute 4 year old girl. Somehow, it felt like they've been together forever. But then another strange thought came to him " Wait, hold on....my parents??"Inside the house, in the hall.... his mom and his dad were relaxing on a couch watching televisyen. The mom got up and greeted him by hugging him " Welcome home, you're at home now" He could not believe in his eyes... it's really actually his mother, then came a pad on shoulder by his dad who smiled happily . The boy began to shed in tears..... running away from whatever that was chasing him, pulled in to this place so strange and somehow able to find his parents and also the love of his life here. He hug them tightly , Lenore join in and hugs him from behind. From his fear of death came with a surprising unexpected transfer to a new place where he found happiness in his life.

But how his reality is like, we wouldn't know....but he do know that, his dream is better than his reality.

I've Level up!

I've level up to level 22! This is in-game terms meaning that I've just turned 22....4 days ago. Ahahaha....yes, I'm an old man~ , an uncle , big bro and etc etc. This 22nd year of mine is gonna be an interesting role. Not too sure what's gonna happen , but I do know that alot of ppl are leaving this year...even some who are so dear to me. But I'm gonna do alot of things this year, achieve alot of goal, changing things around, meeting new people, be more of an adult, more booze(liquor ofcourse) , praying & commit more to God ( gonna try my best!), and do things I've never done before!

This is gonna be fun playing in Level 22, alot of challenges I'll overcome for sure and meeting new npc (people) and taking down anything that goes againts my goal(but ofcourse, in a peaceful matter).

Pic....My wacky moments >)

2008

Suppose to write about this on New Year's day , but I've been enjoying myself too much till I forgot about it. So here it is. 2008 ,another year on earth. Some say that 2008 will be the greatest year. A time for a change, a time for a new election, a time evolution , a time where one stands up for once. For me, I have a feeling that this year is gonna be the saddest year for me.

It seems like in this year, alot of people that I know of including my 2nd sister is leaving else where. My sister is moving to Los Angelas , US to stay (The bf better follow and stay with her after that) , my youth pastor is leaving my church end of this month to become a senior pastor in a small church ( but he is still stay at the same place), my studio manager who is my mentor is leaving to Singapore to stay with his gf end of february, Cindy is in New Zealand now for good, April will be finishing up her last year of diploma and then leaving elsewhere for degree and maybe staying there for good, Lionel going back to Aussie , Bard will be around for 5 more months before he goes back to Brunei for good and I think there's more to come later in this year.

Yes, indeed that 2008 will be a year of alot of changes , many sad moments to come , gaining something new experience and maybe many prayers will be answered. Someone is gonna rise from it's empty shell, I'm gonna go all out for this year. I'm gonna change and I'm gonna be strong no matter what happens. I will achieve things and keeping in touch with God Almighty.I will move on and I'm gonna pull it through for this Year. Cheers to you,2008!

The Road we walk.

I wrote this in deviantart about the strangest dream I had few years back and it's still a little bit clear to me.

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I had a dream.....of each people walking on their own road.

Some walking on their own happy life....

some cross to other people's road and end up walking together...

some have already crossed and end up splitting up in their own ways...

it's like you can see the people in the world walking in their own road towards a very bright light .

I'm walking side by side with someone....not in the same road, just happened to be beside me. I don't really know her , but I like her....she had the cheery , cute personality that I like....which in the end, I fell for her.

So I walk behind her on her road...she look at me and smiled. She was glad that I acompanied her. She hold my arm as though she felt lonely...I wasn't gonna go anywhere else...but just simply walking beside her.

I wanted to tell her that I want to be in the same road with her...forever and ever until we reach that light. But suddenly....she stopped and look at me.

I look at her , she gave me an expression that I've never seen before....then her eyes shed tears...A sudden struck in me , something sharp... and long, like a spear. she placed something in me which immobilized my movement and my body.An impalement.

She pierced in me so deep that I won't be able to pull it out. I fell to my knees, I couldn't move my hands or my body....because that's what it does.

I look at her , asking her the reason why she did it... she cried , giving me no answer to her emotions. She walk further away from me and called for a guy from another road. She walk towards him and hold his hands....they look back at me , both of them gigle and walk away from me on their own new road. While I....on my knees, impaled by a spear gazing on the shining light...I've never felt so painful in my life... so empty throughout my entire journey.

There I was ...kneeling down , stranded on her road...feeling numb, regret and foolish enough to think that I could walk with her forever and ever to the light.I can't go back to my own road... knowing now with my lousy making decision...there's no going back.

I cry and cry....looking at other people , walking on their own road...with their joy, their happiness , their laughter... growing old slowly as they walk. Will I ever have that at all....am I bound to be stuck here forever.

I stare at the light ....calling to God and ask ..." Am I supposed to stop walking now? Why do I began to walk here anyway? knowing that you will place me here like this on her road where she'll never return!". Then again I realize, I was only talking to a bright shining light...there was no response. So I thought to myself and came with a conclusion... 'This is my fate...my mistake'.

........

.....

..

That's where you came in... you came to this road I was stuck on, asking me what happen, whether I could walk. I laughed and look at you , telling you that's a supid question. You didn't say anything but to tell me to be calm, you gave me a smile and try to help me. That's what struck me...

you gave me a smile...you hold out your hands and began to pull the long spear in me... it won't barge...still stuck in me. I look at you again , telling you it's pointless...I can't move at all.... this damn spear is the reason for it.

You never listen... being stubborn and all, you struggle to try and pull it out. I began to find it strange about why you make so much effort into helping me when you're suppose to walk in your own road. You look at me and told me

" Everyone should walk on their own road to where they are supposed to walk to... even you. You may have crossed into someone else's road and end up in a dead end. But I can help you get back to your own road."

my finger twitched...her words gave me the strength to move , she pulls the spear from my body little by little. She smiled at me with tears pouring out from her eyes , saying that I was going to be alright...

But how could I be alright...it doesn't make any difference.Even if I go back...I'll only go back to the person I used to be.If I were to walk with her, I'll end up in the same situation as before. I rather be stranded here and let everyone walk.

" I won't leave you, besides.... I can't just let you be alone out here....right?" she replied....

" Huh...?" I stared at her. Why can't she? among other people.....I don't deserve this kind of help... I've made a mistake once...how could I actually make a better a better decision next time?

She pulled out the spear from me...and I screamed in pain.Trying to bare it inside me but it was too painful. She grabs hold of me....trying to help me redeem the pain, she cried...but why? it is I who should be crying....she help me get up, making sure I could stand and help me walk back to my own road.

"Thank you for your help , I don't know why...but I'll be walking now"...I began to walk on my road...more like limping, I've been numb and lost for too long, somehow..the feeling is still the same...numb or not...I've lost something that is irreplaceable.I'm still holding the injury that has not healed completely byt the previous girl.

But suddenly....you came from behind, holding my arms...helping me to walk properly.I thought you've walk back to your own road. You told me this once in the dream.....

" Even if you're lost , you can always be found...I'll always find you whenever you're alone or when you're lost... I'll always be here, and when I'm in the same situation, I trust you to do the same"....

I look into your eyes...trying to remember your face...your long hair , your skin, your scent , your touch ...I wanted to ask your name.....

but that's when I woke up, the alarm rang...my whole body aching , some parts are numb like I never moved at all on my bed. I catch my breath , strangely like I've not been breathing.It was 9.40am, and I was late for my class in college.I quickly change and head off to the bus station .

I lost you again...but you changed me and gave me a little light to believe....

that I shouldn't walk alone whenever I'm lost...

I thank you...whoever you are....

a dream that happened 2 years ago....

I could never forget it.



I'll find you...

Got Tagged!.....again

Tagged byJasmin Lim

1. Chew Pei Gee

2. Melissa Tiang

3. April Lim

4. Paige Eleanor Shem

5. Jasmin Lim

6. Regine Tan

7. Rainbow Ng

8. Diana(Neko)

9. Michelle Lim

10. Jessie MCc
(This are randomly place, not arrange)

Now time for the questions!(This are answered with honesty, straight from my heart)

1) How long have you known number 4(Paige Eleanor Shem)?
Ermm....I've known her for the last 2 years++ of my college life at the One Academy . A realy hot,beautiful, creative,smart and talented friend .

2) Is number 1 your best friend(Pei Gee)?
I wish, we are just friends....a very long disctance kind of friendship. We've known each other during high school time in a Tuitorial centre called Tuitorial Lee.Met her during form 3.

3) Do you have a crush on number 6(Regine Tan)?
Once actually, during high school.... I did confess it to her during college time, but then it didn't go so well in the end. But now we're seeing each other again as good friends as we usual were.

4) Would you date number 7(Rainbow Ng)?
Well...why not. I don't mind , but ofcourse if she is free. She's always very hardworking trying to complete her college assignments.

5) How bout number 5(Jasmin Lim)?
Well....I did remember promising her a free dinner once she comes back. (Only dinner, belanja only)

6) If you could pick one nickname for number 8 what would it be and why(Diana/Neko)?
Ermm...I dunno, I've not seen her ever since our 2nd break up in 2001.I guess I would still call her Diana.

7) Name one inside joke you have with number 10/if you don't have any for some reason, name a memory you have with number 10 (Jessie MCc)?
Hmmm....can't remember any of the jokes .(Oh, we're msn buddies by the way. She's from Australia.She calls me dear and I call her babe) .Well, best conversation memory I had with her is about the hot stuff topic and the pics of her. That was during form 5 by the way. Now is art stuff.

8) Have you ever been on a trip with number 4(Paige Eleanor Shem)?
Nop, there is a college field trip....but I was never interested in going.

9) Have you ever had a sleepover with number 5?
Nop, I can't...she's in Aussie. Even if she is here.....Whooohh, too fast....too fast, we're only friends.

10) Do you think number 9 is hot or not(Mi-chelle Lim)?
Kalau tak cakap pun still kena by her sakainess. Yes yes, she is hot....boss saya is very hot among the Sakai group (cuz the only girl mar).

11) Have you ever met number 3's parents(April Lim)?
Well...I've met her mom before during my SPM results. I know her elder brother.

12) Have you ever hugged number 8(Diana Neko)?
Only once....I think, we actually didn't last very long together. But I do love her at that time.

13) Do you miss number 7 right now(Rainbow Ng)?
Ehemm...ehemmm. Well, I did miss her abit during the New Year's eve celebration. She was busy at home finishing up her work.

14) If you could say any one thing to number 9 without any consequences, what would it be(Mi-chelle Lim)?
Wahh...such awesome power I've received. Now I can say whatever to my boss!! >D ...... " I want a Java Frappucino from Starbucks and get super hyper again!!"

15) Would you ever makeout with number 6(Regine Tan)?
Err....say what!? It would be weird (again) if I were to do that. Besides, she is seeing someone else, and that guy is famous for punching anyone seeing too cozy with her.Well, she said he has change....(hopefully)

16) How about number 10(Jessie MCc)?
Hmmm....interesting, not such a bad idea. She's hot....wait, let me correct that. She's super hot. I guess I can just collect some money , fly over to Australia(can't remember which part does she stay ) and give it a try. >)

17) Do you have any pictures of number 1 (Pei Gee)?
I'm afraid not, didn't get the chance to take a picture with her.

18) Do you have a crush on anyone on this list?
Honestly...a few of them. Chew Pei Gee , Paige Eleanor Shem, Regine Tan and Diana. Diana was my 2nd crush. my 1st crush is not in the list.

19) Do you miss anyone on this list?
Yes...I miss Pei Gee very much, she's currently in UK for her studies.I wish her all the best.

20) Have you ever hugged anyone on this list?
Yup, Regine tan and Mi-Chelle Lim.

It's time to tag...

- Yvonne Yong -

- Darren C.Edward -

- Carol Ching Cia Ee -

- Paige Eleanor Shem -

- Jessie MCc -

- Jan Faye-

- Maggie Cheong -

- Lillien Siew -