Monday, April 20, 2009

I want my Fear

My biggest fear is loosing everything about me, my existence, how I lived and what I am. Basically I'm afraid of Amnesia, can never know that I might get into an accident and that's the end of my existence to who I am, it feels like another person will be taking over my body and try to relive how I've lived. But then when I think about it, I feel that I want to have it.

I don't have much to concentrate on except for my dream job which I find it crappy at the moment because it's not the dream that I was hoping for, I'm ignoring alot of things that's bothering me, I can't get alot of things that I want, I've become more anti-social except for my colleagues, I've begun to curse alot again, I'm back to my lonely stage of depression and I've dropped the fact that true love/meant to be with theory exist. I thought about finding it elsewhere like in America or somewhere in this God created land..... but It won't make a difference anyway.

So might as well my memories be forgotten , and let some idiot play my role while I dissapear along with my memories. Amnesia doesn't sound so bad afterall, maybe that idiot after me would do better than me. I've almost lost the will to try hard now.

No comments: