The Road we walk.

I wrote this in deviantart about the strangest dream I had few years back and it's still a little bit clear to me.

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I had a dream.....of each people walking on their own road.

Some walking on their own happy life....

some cross to other people's road and end up walking together...

some have already crossed and end up splitting up in their own ways...

it's like you can see the people in the world walking in their own road towards a very bright light .

I'm walking side by side with someone....not in the same road, just happened to be beside me. I don't really know her , but I like her....she had the cheery , cute personality that I like....which in the end, I fell for her.

So I walk behind her on her road...she look at me and smiled. She was glad that I acompanied her. She hold my arm as though she felt lonely...I wasn't gonna go anywhere else...but just simply walking beside her.

I wanted to tell her that I want to be in the same road with her...forever and ever until we reach that light. But suddenly....she stopped and look at me.

I look at her , she gave me an expression that I've never seen before....then her eyes shed tears...A sudden struck in me , something sharp... and long, like a spear. she placed something in me which immobilized my movement and my body.An impalement.

She pierced in me so deep that I won't be able to pull it out. I fell to my knees, I couldn't move my hands or my body....because that's what it does.

I look at her , asking her the reason why she did it... she cried , giving me no answer to her emotions. She walk further away from me and called for a guy from another road. She walk towards him and hold his hands....they look back at me , both of them gigle and walk away from me on their own new road. While I....on my knees, impaled by a spear gazing on the shining light...I've never felt so painful in my life... so empty throughout my entire journey.

There I was ...kneeling down , stranded on her road...feeling numb, regret and foolish enough to think that I could walk with her forever and ever to the light.I can't go back to my own road... knowing now with my lousy making decision...there's no going back.

I cry and cry....looking at other people , walking on their own road...with their joy, their happiness , their laughter... growing old slowly as they walk. Will I ever have that at all....am I bound to be stuck here forever.

I stare at the light ....calling to God and ask ..." Am I supposed to stop walking now? Why do I began to walk here anyway? knowing that you will place me here like this on her road where she'll never return!". Then again I realize, I was only talking to a bright shining light...there was no response. So I thought to myself and came with a conclusion... 'This is my fate...my mistake'.

........

.....

..

That's where you came in... you came to this road I was stuck on, asking me what happen, whether I could walk. I laughed and look at you , telling you that's a supid question. You didn't say anything but to tell me to be calm, you gave me a smile and try to help me. That's what struck me...

you gave me a smile...you hold out your hands and began to pull the long spear in me... it won't barge...still stuck in me. I look at you again , telling you it's pointless...I can't move at all.... this damn spear is the reason for it.

You never listen... being stubborn and all, you struggle to try and pull it out. I began to find it strange about why you make so much effort into helping me when you're suppose to walk in your own road. You look at me and told me

" Everyone should walk on their own road to where they are supposed to walk to... even you. You may have crossed into someone else's road and end up in a dead end. But I can help you get back to your own road."

my finger twitched...her words gave me the strength to move , she pulls the spear from my body little by little. She smiled at me with tears pouring out from her eyes , saying that I was going to be alright...

But how could I be alright...it doesn't make any difference.Even if I go back...I'll only go back to the person I used to be.If I were to walk with her, I'll end up in the same situation as before. I rather be stranded here and let everyone walk.

" I won't leave you, besides.... I can't just let you be alone out here....right?" she replied....

" Huh...?" I stared at her. Why can't she? among other people.....I don't deserve this kind of help... I've made a mistake once...how could I actually make a better a better decision next time?

She pulled out the spear from me...and I screamed in pain.Trying to bare it inside me but it was too painful. She grabs hold of me....trying to help me redeem the pain, she cried...but why? it is I who should be crying....she help me get up, making sure I could stand and help me walk back to my own road.

"Thank you for your help , I don't know why...but I'll be walking now"...I began to walk on my road...more like limping, I've been numb and lost for too long, somehow..the feeling is still the same...numb or not...I've lost something that is irreplaceable.I'm still holding the injury that has not healed completely byt the previous girl.

But suddenly....you came from behind, holding my arms...helping me to walk properly.I thought you've walk back to your own road. You told me this once in the dream.....

" Even if you're lost , you can always be found...I'll always find you whenever you're alone or when you're lost... I'll always be here, and when I'm in the same situation, I trust you to do the same"....

I look into your eyes...trying to remember your face...your long hair , your skin, your scent , your touch ...I wanted to ask your name.....

but that's when I woke up, the alarm rang...my whole body aching , some parts are numb like I never moved at all on my bed. I catch my breath , strangely like I've not been breathing.It was 9.40am, and I was late for my class in college.I quickly change and head off to the bus station .

I lost you again...but you changed me and gave me a little light to believe....

that I shouldn't walk alone whenever I'm lost...

I thank you...whoever you are....

a dream that happened 2 years ago....

I could never forget it.



I'll find you...