Wednesday, December 31, 2008

The Yearly Evaluation

The New Year is finally here, 2009 has arrived and bye bye to shitty 2008 for me. Oh....almost forgot.

Happy Blessed New Year!

Now as promise, I'm gonna write about my 2008 evaluation and what I'm gonna expect for 2009.

That year has been my most misreable year for me. I hate that year, it has caused my downfalls and crumpled my life like a piece of paper and just thrown to the side. Nothing great happened in that year, nothing worth remembering except for painful memories. In that year, I learn alot of great deal of reality....of what it really is going on around me. I was never happy in that year although I could still put up a smile.

That year I have alot of people that goes off to far away places and some going to many different paths. Alot of people I'm close to left for a better future. Like my studio manager, my sister, my youth pastor, some of my colleagues. It's like one by one they are peeled off from my life .

I suffered a great deal of pain from a...'close' friend I've been with for 6 years which I have made a mistake to grow too attracted to her. And for that, I paid the price. The prophecy that I received ' A returning thing that I've forgotten' was my pain and decisions which brought my downfall.And it is my fault that I repeated my mistakes for thinking that it'll be different than before. I was gonna make up for my mistakes with her, willing to renew my friendship.... but I was stabbed hard by her for thinking that I had a motive for coming back to her, saying that I cheated her. I then realize she was totally not worth it at all. Made me so frustrated and regretted alot because of her.Last time I didn't blame her but myself for my stupidity, but this time it's different. I've erased her existence in my life, although I do realize that one day we'll bump into each other again.... but that time I won't have the same view of her anymore.I just don't want to see her anymore.

That year has spoiled the look of my appearance. I've gained alot of weight compared to last time.THis is how it is when you're downed, you simple don't give a damn about anything else. I've not been active in martial arts and my regular cycling activities. This has caused my image to look bad right now... and I need to gain back my old self.

That year has caused misery in my work, but I realize that it's never easy in the working life. But just that the work I've done with all my hardwork and effort can just be thrown at the side or re-design because of wanting to have a different look, all of a sudden. Wasted alot of months for some work that I did. And other than that, I've been too nice. I keep willing to agree to help do extra things for the church when I already realize that I'm busy with my work at the studio. But still, my studio...the management is just lousy to me, poor planning and sillines.

That year, I've been cursed by misfortune. I get bad lucks more ofthen than b4.

That year made me realize who my real friends are and now I know who is and who isn't (dun worry Jasmin, you're one of my real crazy friend).

That year I'm lonelier than before.

BUT, I do have some which I appreciate and thankful for :
1. I get to communicate more with Cindy Tey
2. Meet alot of interesting friends.
3. Gotten closer with my colleagues
4. Had an awesome Joint Youth Camp.
5. Didn't get my car banged at all.
6. Got myself an XBOX 360 and a PSP
7. A new attitude after my downfall.
8. Oh, started Warhammer 40 000 boardgame. WAR!

So what am I looking for in 2009, the year of the Ox?

- I'm gonna work harder in my life, rebuild back my image and focus harder in my work. This time I won't give a shit if it's discarded or renewed by someone else. Get closer to the real friends that I know of now. And to finally find a happy life that I've been longing for. Achieve alot of Greatness that is worth remembering and may fortune be cast upon my life and my family.

Have a blessed 2009 everyone. =)

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