Life, Me.

10 more days till the end of the year, but within those days...anything could happen. But I've already decided what I should do next year 2010 and those decision are based on what is good for me. Something that I need to do is that I need to search and fix myself because I'm missing something in life. Life as you know it is not what you think it is...it's much more vast and complicated than that. It's about what you've experienced through out your previous years...love, friendship, hardship, betrayal, stress, bullied, misery, despair and etc are all part of how Life is. The question is, do you understand why all of that are happening to you? Don't blame things or others or critisize or feel regret about why all those happened....learn it and understand why it happened. Those who failed to do so failed to understand the real meaning of how life is.

Please don't ask me about what Life is because I'm still learning...we all are. Only whether we realize things or not. Some will say that "Life is full of challenges" or "Life is all about balance" or etc.... those are quite true, but there's more than just what u hear more often.

Here's what I think.

Life is about how you live through it.

You want to tell other people how they should live their life? Think about yours first before you open your mouth. You need to be humble, honest, willing to admit and commitment to understand things you've done in the past. Nobody is always right because we are not perfect. We shouldn't let our ego take control of us. Even though you feel left out from the rest of your friends cuz they have their own gang...you shouldn't blame them. I'm like that, I already know that some people that I'm used to be close with already form their own private gang and I'm not part of it. If that's what they decide and have their own reason, I shouldn't be a busy body of finding out the reason why. If they have their own reason, I respect it. If it extended to the point that I'm all by myself...then that's how Life will come to be for me.

In life, you have to loose something....cause sooner or later, you'll gain something.

If I can't find love, that's how it is...difficult. Could be because of many reasons. Whether there's such thing as the best will come the last, I do not know. But if fate decides that I don't deserve such pleasure in experiencing love, I can't fight it...because the more I fight to hold on to the hope, the worst/further that hope that I've been reaching for goes away. Atleast that's just me. But I can't have hatred and dissapointment take over me because of that...it'll just make my character worst than before. All I can do is just let it take that hope away from me.

I realize over the past few years that no matter how much I help or how nice I am to the others, not many will acknowledge me , a gratitude or returning the favor...just only be gracious of me doing so for them...that is what my name means. But I don't blame them.... it's useless to do so, I look at myself and there's not many unique things about me that I deserve acknowledgement. I can only stand infront of them and smile because they are happy. How I feel....I guess I don't give a shit anymore. Their happiness is more important than me.

This is how I'm living now.....and that is why 2010, I want to fix it. And I want to do this on my own,....not with God's help or a miracle. I even prayed for a miracle from him till now I'm still waiting for it. So I'm done waiting, I'm gonna do it by myself...it's wasting alot of my time. Friend's help I guess I still can take... but I need to do this on my own. That is why I'm taking a break next year, need to do some cleaning up in me.

2010, faster come..../ Dragon Age Origins

I've come to realize that I'm no longer closely connected to the people I used to, now that everytime I go for service, I'm like a stranger. That's why I never bothered to stay back and fellowship, not even a hi from some that I know...so imagine I just stand around there not being talked at like a dunggu fella, a waste of my time. That's why everytime the service ends, I didn't hesitate to leave and have lunch at my apartment cafeteria. Even duty feels like a 2nd job now instead of really performing ur best. So fuck this, I'm just gonna start a new life starting 2010... I'm just only gonna focus on myself, what I need to fix, what I need to loose, what I need to forget, what I need to develope and what I need to begin. That is why, 2010....faster come.I can't wait any longer.

Lately I've been playing Dragon Age Origins and Left 4 Dead 2! Yes, I've finally played Left 4 Dead 2! Freaking Awesome! But 1st, Dragon Age Origins.

Dragon Age Origins is about the invasion of the Darkspawn and it is your duty as the Grey Warden to defeat them. How? well that's the adventure. You are suppose to gather ur army/alliance to go againts them while then helping out desperate folks, uncovering mysteries, meeting new characters, falling in love with one of them, dungeon raiding, get cool armors and items and pretty much save the town to gain their trust.

Now, Dragon Age is just like your typical Fantasy Adventure game, but wait. This Game enhanced that element itself making it real for the players to experience how's it like being an adventurer and save the land . As a normal RPG game, the character levels up...all character can. How u level and build the character determines how the character will be able to perform in the game when fighting or interacting with the NPCs of the game. Story wise is quite simple to say but each town or location have their own stories and many scrolls or books can be found all over as an additional reading material to uncover the history of the place/ people and get read some love letters~ Boring i say.

Character Animation is well done, not much motion captures used for this game...pretty much manually animated. Damn realistic I say, pretty convincing. And the cinematography when it comes to interacting the NPC is good, a very good reference for me. With this, it makes the conversation less boring. Oh, conversation will determine the outcome of it...so choose wisely when conversing with the characters, u may get extra things or information.

the guy in red armour is my character and the rest of the party members are the existing characters in the game.

The Design of the game is simple amazing, it's detailness never cease to amaze me. It really brings out the quality of the models, armors, items, swords and etc. Making it realistic looking makes the whole game more fun to play it. Environments I would say that the composition how they made it is just saving alot of polygon counts there, but enough to fill the space that is necessary. The texture quality are clear to the smallest bit, by it the texture is enhanced with few layer shading and higher resolution. I can play this game in window mode with my Radeon x1650 graphic card! The lighting is well balanced and suits the mood in certain areas to make it feel more of thrilling adventure for the players.

My character performing the finishing moves on Broodmother.

For the gameplay, I would say that It's your typical Neverwinter style with the pausing and make tactical planning. U can view your camera to 3rd person to Isometric view for better tactical strategies. Remember when I said that how u developed the characters determines the performance in battle? IF u dun upgrade them well with suitable skills to ur liking, better equipments and enough proper stats, your character can survive all the battles. Cuz if you don't nd the rest of your party member dies, the game is over.

But for what I think, the combat can sometimes be unfair.... u'll sometimes be ambush by 20 attackers along ur journeys. 4 againts 2o...madness, even with proper strategies...you'll be like a half dead fish or just die being ganked by them.

Along your journey, u'll find more companions to aid u on your quest and etc. You can even have a relationship with one of your companions. Just simple add more approvals by talking to them or give them gifts. Or you can just go to Denerim and get some action in the Pearl.

Oh, if you purchase the original package of Dragon Age, you'll be able to download the special character Shale. Shale is a stone golem created by the dwarfs to battle the Darkspawn centuries ago. U'll bump into a merchant and he'll give u the rod of command, and he'll give u the location of Shale. Once u've freed him, he'll be added in to ur party member. Shale is one of my favourite character, Why? The guy freaking hell sarcastic. He hates birds, can't blame him though...years of not being able to move and speak....birds tends to use him as the loo.

So I would recommend Dragon Age Origins to those adventure lovers out there, get the limited edition if you can!

my ratings :

Torchlight!

WaaazzzaaaaUp! How's it going? My latest post will be a game review about a recent game I currently addicted. The game is called Torchligh! Developed by Runic Games...The same people who did Diablo, Hellgate london are making a comeback in this Action Role-Playing game with a different style from their other project. In this game, you travel to a town called Torchlight and battle your way down in the mines to put an end to the evil schemes of Alric and save the town! Pretty much the same story as the 1st Diablo.


You get to choose 3 classes, pretty much the same as the 1st Diablo. But in this game...even though we know those classes are mage, warrior and rogue...they came up with a fancier name= Alchemist, Destroyer and Vanquisher! Cool, huh? After that...you get to pick a pet! Now pets are limited here but u can transform them to different creature in a given amount of time!

You get to pick a dog or a cat.

Now the usefullness of the pet system is that it acts as a sidekick to the character. It can attack, pick up items,store itmes, wear rings and necklaces, they can use spells if given to them and....the new system which they applied in their genre is the ability to store all ur items in the pet's (bag or something) and u can send him away to sell the items!

Torch light battle system is almost the same as Diablo but with the cartoonish style, it makes the game look more interesting. And a good thing about this game is that all classes can dual wield and dual wielding can be in different combination of 1 handed weapons. Weapons that are available in torch light are sword, axe, staff, wand, spell scrolls, bows, bowgun and Pistols/firearms! When dual wielding, u can combine different kinds of wielding , like a sword with a pistol. This combo is the most interesting ever cuz u can shoot and slash out in close combat.

The character upgrade system is the same as any other RPG. It can upgrade stats and skills. And u'll gain more to learn ur skills by earning fame.Gaining it is easy, just kill the special monsters.

Damage value can be seen when u hit or be hit. Some of the skills all character will have.

The effects , particle effects and the environment modelling are simply stunning.

This game was only meant for a fun game, not a Baldur's Gate story telling. It focus more on the gameplay and what can they give more to the players. I give a big round of applause for the creator of this game, they did a very well job for this game. KEEP IT UP,GUYS!!
The rating I give for this game....IS! :

Apocalypse!!! Emperium VS Xenos Scum!

Waaaazaaaa uP!!

Weekend kinda wasted my time sleeping alot. Why I slept alot? because of the Friday Night gaming! Hell Yeah! It was the bomb! Not sure whether other's have done this before....but me, my colleagues and one of our colleagues church friends gathered together and have ourself a really really big Warhammer 40 000 gaming! At first we planned to have like 2-3 games one on one with each other, but since we have 8 people and damn nice got 4 players play the Emperium forces...we decided to have a 6000points APOCALYPSE match!!! xD

Each person will have up to 1500points of army , so it's a 4VS4 game. The forces of Emperium are the Imperial Guards(chris), The Blood Angels (me), Dark Angels(Dylan) and Ultramarine(Michael) facing againts the Xenos! Orks(Yvonne) Eldar(eric)Necron(adrian) and Chaos Space Marine(Louis). Now I can't really remember most of the details of the game but I will try.

[Here we are setting up the table together]

So we roll for the mission, the game was Objective Points Spear Head and we got the 1st to go!Emperor was with us! Garhhh! So we put out our models 1st and see what we have, then we got out of the room and make some battle plans (heheheheh). Mission objectives are simple...your troops must capture as many points there is on the board, and ther's only 3...we have one, the other side have one and only left was the one at the middle on top of a ruined building and we are both suppose to contest for it!

[The Forces of Emperium are strong and powerful~]

So we begin our turn, we move up our land raiders slowly...see the amount of Land Raiders here >D. The 1st turn Chris bombarded Yvonne's ork boys at the front as it is in the line of sight and the biggest threat for some of us and they are in big groups...and to us, big group is a no no >D. So 1st turn was mostly taking out most of the troops before they can contest for the objective points. So they too did the same thing when it comes to their turn, Yvonne with a vengeance used her Big Mech and teleport blast on Chris's tanks, Adrian with her Monolith move front and hold the line. Chaos move up his rhinos and the Eldar are casting spells and shooting at us.

Now the 2nd turn came, we move up and spread away our land raiders , I was concentrating on t he Chaos space marine, Chris flank from the right to use his Valkyrie Vandetta to blast the Necron destroyers, Dark Angels multi task by going for the objectives and deal with the orks, Michael back up Dylan againts the orks. The Chaos rhino proved to be a tough little tank cuz it wouldn't die! only shaken!By my devastator squads and my land raider! Garhh! My Assault troops come in but I'm quite far from them.Chris successfully obliterated the Necron Destroyers with his OP tanks (as always) and concentrates his next target on the Ork Warbikes

Most of the turns are a little bit fuzzy so I can't really remember the details from here on, mostly it was all shooting and blasting while we were trying to contest the middle objective points and Dylan and Michael's forces meddle with their objective points

[My forces(in red) in action againts the orks and the Chaos's squad]

The game ended with a draw, my Assault squads which were so far behind managed to contest the objective point and survive even though left 2 men in that team(the rest was obliterated by that black pyramid called the Monolith). If it weren't for Dylan and Chris's troops clearing the way for me, the game would end with a victor. We have to ended anyway cuz it was 4.20am!!! Ahahaahah!! We started around 11pm I think cuz of the preparation and battle plans. But who cares! This game rocks! If there's gonna be another match, I'm there! FOR SANGUINUS! FOR THE EMPEROR

For those who don't really know what Warhammer 4oooo is all about, here's a quick intro:

Warhammer 40,000 is a miniature board game where you collect these miniatures, paint them, make an army of your own and go up againts any player who plays it or even tag team play it, or a 8 man tag team! hahaah. This game is not just simply play like a kid's toy...there's rules and things that need to follow. This game forces you to strategize your game and sometimes there's different scenarios like objectives and stuff and get to see other player's cool painted models. It was damn fun that night, could say the 1st ever huge Apocalypse in Selangor state(not sure other places in Malaysia have done it before)

What's Up!? 0,o

Heyya'All! ( ok..that doesn't rhyme) What's happening? Here's what's been going on lately and what I've been doing:

1. I've been busy trying to do extra work at home 3d Modelling some characters for me to work on the animation, the bummer part is everytime I come back from work....it's so hard to open up 3dsMax in my computer ( cuz I've been doing my work in 3dsMax from 9-6pm every weekdays!) But atleast i'VE started somewhere.

2. I've been playing this new game which I kinda regret buying it and so not worth it man. The game is called Aion : Tower of Eternity. My friend keeps telling me "Damn good wehh!Better than WOW(world of warcraft)!". So I just thought of trying it out since it just release. Now, the game cost about Rm179 if u buy the limited edition, it's almost around Rm340? The game comes along with the 30days try out. So I thought it would be okay then....so, the game is not out in stores yet I think, I have to go straight to the distributor in Klang Bukit Bintang and get one. I got the game, now....what I didn't know is that...in order for me to create the account and activate the game = I have to pick how I'm going to pay, so I picked time card.....guess what, I have to get that time card in order to activate it...and it comes in 2 months for RM100....I was like " WHAT!?It says here 30 days free try!I have to get a time card to validate my payment method!? WTF?" So I end up paying all together about Rm280 wehhh.



Garhh....but it's ok anyway since I don't have to reload till December. But damn....my friend is wrong, the game is boring! It's just exactly like Lineage II, heck...it's the same people who did it! The only reason why they say it's better than World of Warcraft is because that players can fly( only at certain areas with duration of time) And the rest of the gameplay is just the same as World of Warcraft... The artworks and concept design seems okay....it just look beautiful and detailed....but not breathtaking (weird,right?) It's just....dull -__- not quite realistic to say and everything seems to be so expensive. The equipment gears outlook is not random like World of Warcraft, so other players won't feel curious to what equipment u have because your look is just the same as theirs, only maybe after 10 levels the equipment look a lil different.

Battle system seems ok except for one thing....you wouldn't know which creature is elite and which creature is not. Now, Elite in World of Warcraft means that they are same level as the normal creeps but way stronger and harder for you to kill, most likely have to be in a group to kill them. Elites can only be in certain areas, a boss or in a dungeon/raid areas. But this, has no indication whether it's an elite or not. So you get killed and u're spawned back from the save point (not the nearest graveyard and claim back your body method like WOW). The monsters look like crap to me seriously. It's not as unique or interesting like WOW. So those of you who are WOW players and want to try Aion Tower of Eternity....DON'T!! U're gonna waste your money if you do! It's nothing like WOW! For the rest who feel like play another Lineage II game, here's the game for you. You get to experience the Asian version of World of Warcraft....just that only 2 race kind of a game =\

3. Been looking up through a few games that I plan to get, and next mid of the month Left 4 Dead 2 is coming in stores. Now alot of gamers are kinda pissed about this because the 1st game Left 4 Dead only released like 9 months ago and suddenly Left 4 Dead 2 gonna release soon, and plus it's not a downloadable content. So, players have to buy another game for it or pay+download through STEAM. Oh well, can't blame Valve if they want to make big money right?


Anyway, this game has extra more features compared to the 1st game. Features like:
a. All new characters
b.All new weapons
c. Adding melee weapons (fire axe, guitar, frying pan, baseball bat)
d.Adding additional ammo types (fire ammo)
e.Additional special infected creatures ( Charger,jackal, Spitter)
f. All new maps
g. Day/Night gameplay
h. New game modes
i. A different level of playing.

So after seeing through all this features, I'm gonna go for it and buy the game. You guys should try it too then we can have more people here and host our own games and BLOW SOME MINDLESS ZOMBIE BRAINS!!! GARHH!!!

So again, to quote with my lvl 76 Blood Elf Death Knight in World of Warcraft! :


Thank U and have a nice day everyrone :)

Ah Yes, you guys can ignore my wordpress blog site....it's really useless for me to use. I finally fixed my problem of unable to login to my gmail account, and now I can...I'm officially back to this blog site and I have modified a few things now.

so..YEAY! THis blog is back! and it's now called "Life is Like a Role Playing Game"

This blog now I will write about my daily happenings and events, games & movie reviews and definitely post my artworks here and also sharing interest on some of the coolest 3d Artist out there!

so stay tune!

The June Effect

Here's the update of what I've been doing on the month of June. The month of June I've been phasing out alot compared to my previous months, mostly due to work stress I guess. Now I'm repairing people's work because they can't produce a good cutscene that the Boss want.Doesn't matter anyway, now it's been replace with my work now >D. A colleague of mine that I've been working with ever since I started this job will be leaving soon to further his studies in Australia. Dang, I guess he's gotten tired of our boss rambling and lecturing all day long. Yes, my boss have been very annoying lately due to paranoia. But what can we do when he keep asking us to repair improve more in the animation cutscenes, more repairing needs more time. And now the MDEC and the Sound studio are bugging him for the game. THat's why, with proper planning...all this could be avoided...you want to add so much things until it become so rojak ...this is what you get lor. My college emphasize on this fact very seriously, but he comes from a business background with so called having the knowledge in 3d and design. Fuck, if he knows all that ...so what's up with the screwed up pipeline? Why giving us a hard time in trying to produce a Blizzard quality games? Were not that good la! Hire those people la!

Anyway, other than that... my army in warhammer 40 000 board game is slowly growing . Had a few games with my colleagues. Oh, I'm currently addicted to this korean drama series titled 'THe Accidental COuple / That Fool'. It's a good show I'll say, it reminds me of the japan TV series 'Train Man', but this is different. This story involves a top actress in korea starring Kim Ah Joong (200 pound beauty) and a normal postal worker starring Hwang Jeong-Min. Why is it called the accidental couple? Well, u have to download it and watch it... gahahaha. But it's a good show, seriously.

Transformers 2 was really good , although the flow of the story was not that good...but the action is nice, awesome. Dang, MEgan FOx is damn hot in there, especially the scene where she sits on the bike painting a logo on it. Websites have been creating a false rumor saying that she used to be a man when they misinterpreted her speech she gave about her breakup with her latest boyfriend saying she 'feels' like a guy now being macho and stuff like that. But hey, this media will twist the whenever they can to make it all hype up and they get alot of money for it. Just like our local news, so interesting. I went to watch Transformers 2 with Kim Choon at Summit, THX summore baybeh! She was scared at the part where the girl turned to a robot....I dunno why, but she just started clinging to my arm shirt....weird. She'll be leaving to UK on September for her studies for 4 years and most probably stay there. Dang, I'm gonna miss her alot. I've known her since high school. I should have been with her all the time when I got the chance...but I was to clinged to someone else, serves me right. Now I'm gonna try to go out with her as much as I can till she leaves. Gonna miss u alot.

Hmm...what else, oh....cought a flu. A normal....flu.This normaly happen every year on June, the June effect. Garhhhhh.....

What if it Ends?

I apologize for my previous post if I have offended anyone, I can't help it that I need to write how/what I feel and think about things around me. But do try to share, debate or whatever to object my point because if you don't, then you'll take it that it's true or just denying it or dun bother and go on with ur fairy tale lives. So the next post in here will be, what do you expect/do when something ends?

Most likely u'll think that it's mostly relationship, but there's alot more other than that. What happens when u get fired without a 1 week notice? What happens when you got hit by a car at the side and you feel cold and air getting thinner and thinner? What happens when your parents disown you?(unlikely to happen here anyway) What happens when something u hold to for a long time and you loose it in an instant? What happens when it just...ends?

Basically, I would say to try and move on.....no no, that's what everyone else would say. The morale is actually to learn to adapt, learn from it and look at the bright side, maybe comparison and be self cautious...don't just 'move on' without anything to learn from, that's stupid...you'll end up doing it again and fall to the same trap. But some things in reality cannot be cured by just mere words. For example, you're in love with your 'close' friend for like about few years and u decided to confront her and make a go for it, but in her respond...it's a no, she wish that we could still just be 'friends' , like brother & sister(ouch) like pen pals or etc. But to you, it's difficult... your friendship won't be the same as before. Most likely u guys won't be close anymore and probably drift apart. This part...it's a hole in ur now... u may be able to forget the event, but your heart will remember it forever.

It things end, don't just let it end... don't just say or listen to people saying 'just move on'. Gosh, it's like a passing after u died. When things end, well...u can try to make a 2nd attempt but I doubt 2nd times is a charm, don't bother for the 3rd time. Oh, but this only applies for relationship and friendship huh? Well if u lost an item, just go get one...end of advice, wait...get a better one and to know to keep it safe. When u loose a job, u better have a back up plan. Don't just let the boss fired u without a 1 week notice, take the initiative to sue that bastard/bitch, but make sure to know their background too....well, just think smart, don't go rushing.

OK, ends.

Where am I?

I've been out of picture for a long time, I have no idea what to blog about because my life is not interesting anymore. So where do I stand now? Where am I? I just don't know. Everything happening around me are just happy and exciting , but I'm not happy and excited. I go to church and everyone feeling blessed and joyful, but I'm not. A new game release and it's cool & awesome, but I'm not bothered. I'm not sure what's going on with me. I'm phasing out from everything. I don't even know what my friends are doing now. No invites, no calls to hang out... not even a 'hi' on MSN. Actually...I never get any 'hi's in MSN or Facebook. Most of my contacts are busy or away... and I don't actually send a message when they are in those status because 1: It'll be intruding while they are probably busy with their own stuff and 2: they won't actually reply back. I live by those rules for most of my life.

But other than that, lately I don't really bother what the rest are doing,...well except for some maybe. But those people I rarely see them. My life has really became a crumpled paper that has been thrown away. Did that damn prophetic reverent placed this cursed on me? Well I'm sorry for whatever that I do not know that I've done, I never know anyway. But whatever that is, it has lead me to this point that I'm all alone here on this land. The people here are difficult to say, they are difficult to be with.

People here are not like the west, Asians are different... seriously, they don't like confrontational approach because it's dangerous and weird. Can't blame them, killers are a lot here in this pathetic country. Communication is a factor here in Malaysia, especially with a different gender....and it's crazy. So many forwarded messages about signals and the wrong words to use has implanted most of their brains now and it's so difficult to communicate with them now. It's like a daily exam with them, if you answer or did something wrong...you're gonna fail unless they give u a 2nd chance. Oh, best part....if u call them, and they say they are busy (not telling u what they are busy with or made up story) and ask u to call them next time....just don't bother. She/he probably gonna do that for like...everytime until maybe miraculously they are really free. They'll give tons of signals and expecting u to figure it out, and you know what.... it's getting tiring. It shouldn't be a test, because when u have that....it's difficult for everyone to click or maintain a good relationships because they will build doubts and trusting issues.

So it's simple, if u do something...it's gonna be difficult, you don't do anything...it's also gonna be difficult. The people here you can say are just crazy and hard to play with. As a friend it's okay... but u want to further the relationship, one of them will just find it weird because they don't see u that way. Hmmm...maybe that's why I can't find her, the right one....because there isn't. She only exist in my head. Even if I found a decent girl that I would probably get married to, I won't actually be happy. Even now anyone here who's on a relationship or chasing after the one they love/like.... without a doubt, there won't be a happy story. Even if there is, it's just a fantasy. Disney, you've brainwashed alot of people, dude.

IF any of you disagree and still believe that there is, then you better convince me well that there is such a thing here on this land.

Meet My Dog

Bored, so I'm gonna intro u guys to..... my dog. His name is Nicky, yes...Nicky. The previous owner thought it would be cute to name a male dog that, plus...he is too dumb to know it. Just look at him! He doesn't even care if his name is a girl's name!

My dog by this year will be 15 year's old. For a dog's age...that's pretty old actually, very old. He is a hybrid mix of Pumeranian and spitz.... although I'm a lil clueless as to why some of the color feature on his head is the same as the German Shepard....then again, German Shepard and a pumeranian mating.....that's just ridiculously funny >D.

*Ermm....yeah, my sis have to shave the hair on his body because it's spreading fur all over the place, although I do not know why the head and the tail was spared from the shaver.This was few months back, I'll laugh at him whenever he looks like that...and he just smile at u not knowing that I'm teasing him! That's so great! >D*

We had him when I was 10 years old, before then he was under the ownership of my uncle who lives at the same role as us. Because since they bought him and his sister name Rustin, they keep the sister (oh, the sister is a pure breed looking pumeranian..as in the smaller size) and we keep the brother. At first it was hard for him to adept,...then he gotten used to the sofa and mark alot of territory enough to make our home his. The real master/owner is my eldest sister, and my dog loves her very much. Me? I'm just the bully >D.

Here he is staring at me with his christmas present, the helpless giraffe soft toy.

He likes the attention and be the center of everyone, while he do silly things like throwing his dolls here and there. When he wants to 'manjaing' he'll walk to your leg and place his head there and demand that u scratch his head. And when u do, he'll drop on his back and demand that u proceed to the belly -___-. My sister has pampered him for too long.

The ever faithful watchdog who has developed the ability to guard the house and sleep at the same time, pro...

The thing about my dog is that, for a guy...he likes to act tough, but he is not. When it comes to cats...he make sures that he is 2 feet away from it and bark at it showing how 'tough' he really is, and the cat just sleeps infront of him while he is doing it.

There was one time that he saw a huge cat at the vet and he bark at it relentlessly..... and he suddenly started peeing! And walk off to my sister.... goodness -___-

Trying to use his most powerful weapon againts my mom to get whatever food that he wants, the stare....

His favourite time would be to join us at the dinner, not eating his meal....but sit beside one of us and do the cute stare at you and watch you eat. When he was younger, he could stand up and hold on to the table and look at us eat!That's Too much! But now he is old and he can't do that anymore...but his stare still haven't lost it's touch -___-.

Since now he is very old, he can't walk outside at a long distance so we put him on a baby cradle....and guess what....he likes it. (pic above)
So yea, that's all about my dog...oh, incase you're wondering why he is missing one ear... it's because he lost in a fight with another dog over a female dog name....Ehehehhe, this is gonna be funny. The female dog's name they were fighting for is Pooky...so teruk weh! A female dog name Pooky! it's a Spitz... but I guess that's why he likes her, funny though...they didn't get to mate. But when his ear came off from that fight, he was smiling as always...still saying " yea yea, I'm tough!" ahahaha....

Painful Off Day....

Argh.....painful day for me today ( 15 May 2009)

I was at Sunway at my old college to meet up with a friend, as I was gonna go back....some idiot cut me to my lane suddenly when I'm about to reach the junction to turn. I kinda leave a lot of spaces from the car infront of me. At first I was thinking about U turning, but I saw the no U turn sign so I didn't but planned to turn to one of the areas and find a U turn out. Just as I look to the front...another new car ( Gen-2 Purple) was already infront of me at the junction! WTF!! I break but the momentum of 35km per hour can't stop in time, so I had to turn my car away. I manage to turn alot but end up scratching his back left side bumper with my front left side bumper. So we moved to the side and try to discuss things. The dude was a male african and he looks guilty. But I still insist on reporting, he ran off to reload his phone to call his insurans....I too called my insurans, I snap a pic of his plate number, his road tax and the exact place the accident occured.

We agreed to report to the police station, but he ask me to go to Section 8 PJ Police station to make the report, I was like " huh?? What for I drive all the way there? I might as well report to the nearest police station! So he agree to follow me, I escort him to the ss17 Police station...but half way there...I lost him! He ran off for real at the round a bout . What the hell....coward, but I still continue to report. The station asked me to report to USJ 8 station pulak because it's nearer..... huh!?? Buggers! So I have to waste more petrol and drive there . I reached there and filled the form and have to wait for about 30mins for my turn to make my report. As I got my turn, I went up...but where's the sargeant?? He's not around...one of the police officers told me that he went to investigate an accident scene.....Arghh! What the hell! On that day I'm packed with a lot of to do things to do! So I have to wait for that asshole to come. My insurans agent came to help, but I guess still doesn't make a difference. When the sargeant come and I made my report to him, I'm still at fault no matter what because I still hit his car from behind....fucking rules. If that man hasn't made a report...he will get saman by the police, and I have to pay for my own damage.

But my dad told me since it's only a few scratches and paint stains,...he can still polish it off and get a spray to cover it up....because it's only at my bumper. Arghh....I'm like what ever la because I have to rush off for demo practice for the Taylor's MCT event performance. Long story to tell, sorry.

Arrgghhhhh~!!!!

A new blog

I've created 2 new blogs , this blogs will only be about Games and my hobby and maybe some few comics(if I'm free)

For Warhammer 40 000 it's at : http://theblackragemadness.blogspot.com/
And for Games it's at : http://lifeisaroleplayinggame.blogspot.com/

I got kicked out.

Yes, I got kicked out....from my dreamland.

I came back around 1.30am from playing pool and yum cha with my friends, so around 2am I put myself to sleep. I struggle to focus my body and mind to enter in to a deep sleep and begin my journey back to my dreamworld which I can't remember much.

The moment I was about to enter, I have this vivid image and a slight sound that there's like a buzzing sound and a loud thunderclap (it's raining at that time) and a sign pops up and tells me this " Please Come back later " ... the next thing I know, my eyes open....i tried to go back to sleep but it won't work. Fuck.

I have to sleep, I have to wake up early to go to church because I'm on duty in the worship team.

Arrghh..screw it, gonna play World of Warcraft till my body begs me to sleep.

Unbelievable =_____="

Update

Just a lil update..

Found a great place to not get saman by police near Kelana Jaya station, YES!

Do my work, fixing problems...again, and again, and again and again.

Rush back and meet with my friend to practice for tommorow's ninjutsu demo.

Had a good catch up with him as always ( although during practice I hurt his foot though, sorry!)

Brought him along and have yum cha with the rest of the church member at Papa Rich.

Wanted to go play pool, but one of the church feeling very tired and mau tidur.

So balik and now I'm typing this update.


see, not an emo post.... >D

I want my Fear

My biggest fear is loosing everything about me, my existence, how I lived and what I am. Basically I'm afraid of Amnesia, can never know that I might get into an accident and that's the end of my existence to who I am, it feels like another person will be taking over my body and try to relive how I've lived. But then when I think about it, I feel that I want to have it.

I don't have much to concentrate on except for my dream job which I find it crappy at the moment because it's not the dream that I was hoping for, I'm ignoring alot of things that's bothering me, I can't get alot of things that I want, I've become more anti-social except for my colleagues, I've begun to curse alot again, I'm back to my lonely stage of depression and I've dropped the fact that true love/meant to be with theory exist. I thought about finding it elsewhere like in America or somewhere in this God created land..... but It won't make a difference anyway.

So might as well my memories be forgotten , and let some idiot play my role while I dissapear along with my memories. Amnesia doesn't sound so bad afterall, maybe that idiot after me would do better than me. I've almost lost the will to try hard now.

Fading from Reality

What happens when you're disconnected from the rest? Will you become lost or will you probably believe in yourself to be able to survive all alone? Will anyone remember you? Will anyone even notice at all? Will they ask others about you? Will they find you?

But what's on your mind? Would you care?Would you bother calling them ? Would you reply their message?

But the 1st question you should actually ask yourself is that what's the reason for you to leave the herd? To leave what you've already made a reputation of yourself. Was it because you are not receiving and you've only been giving? Is it because they took your kindness and sympathy for granted? Or you feel unapreciated at all? Or maybe you think that you're wasting your time with them?

This is the feeling of phasing out from the real world, from the land that God has created for you that somehow it's too much for you to handle. You keep asking yourself whether "is this for real?", No matter how many times you close and open your eyes again..the truth remains the same.

I do not want to fade, I want to stay and be able to play games together , chill out at a bar in a bunch or maybe play pool while the girls cheer. But trying to have a unique life is difficult when you're not being noticed by many and even need to ask for your name again. I want to be normal, but what can I do when the world doesn't see me?' u might have this in your thoughts. Yes, you don't need people to tell you that Jesus loves you and he is always there for u.... because you feel it's good to have someone currently beside you to remember you and keep calling your name. Someone you could share your life with.... someone you could share your feelings. Now that's reality.....something that you should fight for.

The Earth Hour

Last night from 8.30pm- 9.30pm was Earth Hour that all around the world are doing it, basically doing it at the same time. So I did my part by offing everything in my apartment and go out for my dinner. Well...I should have ate my dinner by 8.30pm, but I guess I was a little too hungry to hold it. My parents did their part by going back to Penang >D. My sister, well...she go jalan jalan at KL with her friend. So can pretty much say that We all did our part.

I was so bored at Daiki Cafe, so I started smsing alot of people as to what they are gonna do during that earth hour. Mostly all with their parents and friends, sigh....so lonely~ But Chai Yu Hui suggested we go yum cha at k3k in ss15! Woo Hoo! My night is not so boring! So I meet up with her at Asia Cafe and we walked there together and have a drink and chat alot.

Yu Hui is someone I met at Timothy's christmas Party, that time we didn't talk at all cuz she's a friend of timothy's sister's friend. Later she added my in facebook(at first couldn't recognize, LOL) and from then I get to know her better when we message each other in there and sms. So when yum cha that time it was easier for us to chat. If not it's gonna be like how my good friend Eddy trying to help me find a gf by introducing to his cousin. Hahaha...it was boring, didn't get to chat much at all cuz dunno much about her 1st and she was surfing the net and gonna do her work with her cousin's laptop, sigh....

So my night last night was very interesting, I enjoyed Yu Hui's company. Oklar, I'll bring her out go makan one day. Thanks alot, Yu Hui!

damn...I'm late for church, See ya!

Stupid Things are Everywhere!

It's been so annoying lately in this year, I expected this year to be a better year but things just get more and more 'stupid!'. Why did I say so? Man...there's a lot of them. One of them is from my work, some of the cutscenes that I'm doing doesn't make sense as to why I'm even doing it!! When you play a game, you like to beat up the boss as to how you fight, right? But what if you're just sitting there and let the game itself do it for you? All you have to do is to press the button at the right time and u can just relax while watching some of the cool shots. Oh, another one. Who loves Tonyhawk or SSX3 snowboarding game? U would love to control the snowboarding urself right? But what if it's the same as how you fight with the boss? The whole track u don't control, just press left or right at the right time. FUCK! I might as well make a movie out of this damn project! It's stupid! I wasted 1 month on a stupid snowboarding gameplay! I suggested that the game handle the snowboarding while I do the special scenes in that game. This is every junction!! Freakin stupid! Boss fight is not even u fighting! It's that stupid!

Another is that my boss, I've been working my ass off to do his stupid idea of a gameplay , struggling in fact....what does he tell to the Project Manager instead to me? My progress is very slow. FUCKING HELL! I've been drawing every inch of my will and effort to do his stupid 2 scenes (1st with 2 storyboards, the other is a gameplay where the level is freakin huge) and making alot of people happy and he even likes the scenes...and he says my progress is fucking slow!? What the Fuck! The reason is because I watch video clips and some downloaded movies. I've been working for almost 2 years and he still doesn't know how I do my animation. Movies and video clip that I watch helps me in my Animation and it keeps me focus, not distracted! I finish all of the work that I've done by the deadline but it's not my fault that they want to add stuff to it because they think 'It looks damn cool man, it's very simple~' No it's not! Fucking Stupid!We're not experience 3d Artist of 20years. Other than that, me watching the movie is distracting the rest? (even though I have my headphone on)..... it's not my problem lar if they see what I do. That's what u get when u put me at a spot where I have no freakin privacy at all! Everytime they will pass by and see what I'm doing!! It's annoying!They would ask me while I'm doing my work and ask what am I watching. I'm lazy to reply cuz my focus just got severed just like that!

What else....oh, American channels are getting more stupid than ever! The writers are getting suckier and more movies lately are so crappy! Like Dragonball Evolution! The Legend of Chun Li! Welll...except for Watchmen lar, that one did a great job. But my god!Why!? Dragonball is so freaking crap!! WHY!? My all time favourite anime in the past is destroyed by their stupid wild imagination out of the box converted movie style!! Street Fighter movie too! Vega is a brunette!? Balrog shoots bazooka!? Bison wears a tux??? Charlie looks like he's gonna loose his hair in a few years time!??? WTF!?

WWE channel series, my favourite tv series...the stories is getting more stupid than ever!? WT hell....they like wives and parents get kicked at the head and paralyze and bleeding!? They like innocent suffer? What is going on!? This is more brutal than the old days! Have the Americans become more barbaric and heartless as ever! Everytime I see a helpless wife get holded by a wrestler and he's about to execute his deadly move...I just simply off the TV and hit the lights. It's not interesting anymore and it's not as fun during The Rocky era. More people like to watch bad people inflict pain and taunt at them . This is just stupid! The makes of WWE seems to be enjoying this alot!

There's alot more things going on which doesn't make sense and not making me smile at all. I'm fucking tired because I've been doing OT and I'm just gonna sleep and hopefully my stressness dicipated by the next morning.

Independent Film

Just got back from KL (Time of returned was midnight). Actually supposed to stay back at work to do extra time, I'll be doing OT from Teusday - Wednesday till end of April....food hopefully can be claimed by boss since he ain't thinking about paying us extra hours for our sacrifice.

But that's not the main topic, the main topic is about this independent short film that I just went to watch and it's a preview. The name of the short film is called 'Baby the rain will fall'. The story is about a girl who has a phobia to water and she's being label as a'freak' among the normal people even though she too look as normal as them. She doesn't have alot of friend except for her close guy friend who's been with her since....well, i think since the starting of college. Basically it's a love story that a guy is in love with this girl who has this strange symptom and tries to help her overcome it.

So, comment would be : The camera angle, the music, the well used of graphic composition and location wise is very good...the acting too. The story still not there and not logic enough to tell about her phobia, it's not obvious. At first for me I thought she's afraid of the sunlight because she stays in a dark bedroom and she goes out at night. During daylight she'll wear this hat that can shade her body (I dun really know what type of hat u call for those >D)

The film was premiered at a bar which is not that big near Raja Chulan, quite packed....most of them are from the creative industry, like me! The film was done by a small group of production team and it's still progressing in producing more short films because this people believe that the film industry in Malaysia still can grow and be better. So me and few of my colleagues who came along leave our names and contact number to some of the projects their doing, hopefully maybe we get it. This kind of opportunity is really hard to come by. Incase my main job doesn't do well , this can be my backup plan.

I missed the KTM train to subang though, so I took the Putra LRT with one of my colleague to Kelana Jaya and he drop me back at my apartment. Last train for KTM was 11pm!! What the hell lar. Sigh.... but the experience was interesting. Hopefully there's something for me in the film industry.

A Dream of Death?

I had a dream 2 days ago that I was dying. MY heart slowly stop beating and it feels the air and everything that I feel being ripped away from me. Problem is, I did not struggle....I allowed it to happened....But then the alarm saved my life. I was so close to dying. I don't have health problems....Oh well.

Quick Summary for the month of February

Well...February certainly is an interesting month for me, here are the list of why it is so :

- 2nd February was my Birthday Celebration, had dinner at Friday's with my parents...not too bad, my sister ask them to sing a song to me. Total ambush to say...but it was interesting.

- oh, no internet at my office... dum dum DUMMMMM~!!!!!! Only 2 computers can use internet.
- Got an increement for my performance, not that much but will do I guess.
- MY BLOOD ANGELS ARMY IS GROWING!
- Did nothing on Valentine's Day
- My long time good friend Eddy hooked me up with his cousin after Valentines Day, well.... not that interesting night to say. So I made it more interesting by going out yum cha with my crazy small eye friend, Ee Min!!.
- had normal days at work
- got my U Mobile number for FREE~!! Damn right
- Dad gave me his iPhone....DAMN~ RIGHT~!!! >D
- Been conversing with new ppl.
- Found 2 songs that interest me alot to hear many times : Namida no Mukou (Gundam 00 s2 new soundtrack) and Deeper Conversation by Yuna (local malay artist, she can sing goood~)
- Completed my dreadful, illogical, time dragging, ridiculous assignment at work and now I'm going back to modelling~! And animate it after that. (oh, I'm mostly too animation)
- Been playing Dead Space, super cool game...it's not that scary la~
- Saw quite alot of beautiful babes this month.

I can say that it was okay okay la~ the month. The Bull sure making it interesting. GO OX! muh year!! Mooooo~!!! >0

The Belated Valentine

I walk into the darkness I belong
Staring up at the night filled with wonders
Suddenly 2 couple walk past me
Luckily I was able to stop in time
But something made me realize about that couple...
They have each other

They are holding hands
They are gigling one another
Their heads connecting as they walk slowly
Saying I love you one another
Even though Valentine's Day just pass
They made it an everyday event

I just realize that I've been trying so hard to find you
whoever you are
I want you, and I need you
Because I'm lonely
I need to know that I can feel alive again
know no one else can compete with you

But who am I kidding
I look at my hands
And they say that I can't find her
I won't find her
She won't hold my hand
Because I'm always too late
Or too far away

I just realize that my road may have finally come to it's end
it's purpose of expanding
I guess I'll just be standing while everyone is walking forward
She'll be walking.
I know you won't hear me say this
But atleast you'll try hearing it from my heart at a distance..
Happy belated Valentine's Day.
And somewhere in an alternate reality, I'm making it an everyday with you.

I wish...

.......

I am not :perfect , but aiming to be one.

I hurt : when I become the main target and no one else is

I love : Playing games...it has to be fun and creative

I hate : smokers or people who are inconsiderate.

I fear : loosing everyone and I become all by myself

I hear : my computer fan spinning

I cry cried : when I was a little boy, I mean...who doesn't?

I care : for people who cared for me

I always : play games and find ways to entertain myself daily.

I long to : be a well known 3d Artist and be a Director or the CEO of my own game company.And I also long to have a girlfriend.

I listen: to the things which are useful to me

I hide: a lot of thoughts and secrets like any normal people.

I drive : only at night.

I sing : as a backup singer for my church worship team.

I dance : horribly

I write : when I need to remember something

I breathe : the fresh air which is also very nice

I play : World of Warcraft and Warhammer...I know, geeky~

I miss : my 2nd sister (she's in US)

I search : for a worthy girlfriend

I learn :to not make more mistakes in life

I feel : like sleeping because of my aching body

I know : that I'm very unlucky in finding a gf...because I suck at it...I'm always too late.

I succeed : in things which I put effort in doing.

I fail : when I want it to fail

I dream : of another realm which I had a happier life there.

I sleep: enough to get up to work

I wonder : whether she's out there

I want : to play World of Warcraft

I worry : about my health

I have : been gaining alot and now struggling to burn it

I give : my best in what I can do.

I fight : when I'm being provoked

I wait: for my next big break

I need : rejuvenation

I am : humble at heart but too nice for others to abuse it, always getting left out, always too late to grab hold of the things I want the most, always on the bench, always unlucky, a game freak, into hot charismatic girls, bored...

I think: I should start playing

I can’t help the fact that : I make a lot of stupid mistakes

I stay : in my apartment

I smile : with a question of 'why'

I will : make a better me for this year

I should : be playing now

I tag: whoever who wants to do this stupid tag

Get to know yourself

I just realize what I need to do for this year...It is vital that I do this because I will not be a pathetic useless person who only knows how to stand and do nothing while everthing is taken away from me or leaving me to rot and not knowing my existence or acknowledging who I am...in fact, it won't make a difference if I change...but at least it's for me.


I need to be selfish and think about myself

I need to take whatever I can get

I need to get rid of the unnecessary things

I need to tidy up my life

I need to stop thinking about other people's needs and favors

I need to stop giving

I need to start burning

I need to get rid of my past

I need to be better

I need to be stronger

I need to be more wiser than before

I need to be more humble

I need to be more focus

I need to work harder

I need to... complete myself first.




I need to concentrate on me only this year. I need to.

OMG!! IT'S FINALLY HERE!!! >o< !!

Today...the 2nd of February...I've become, older...an uncle, an old man.....-___-.

OMG...it's so near!

It's so near...

it's so near....

what am I gonna do?

what am I gonna do??

just for this once!

Let time move much slower!!

ArrgghH!!

Clock is ticking.... @_@

Tick Tock ....

tick tock....

tick tock..

Soon...it'll come.

Mister, can you stop moving the time faster? @.@

D&D : Machine Concept Art 1

This is the concept art 'Machine' for the D&D (Drink & Draw) online. Still waiting for the website to be up and operational, Darren. So...here it is, this is the 1st drawing for the 'Machine' theme. Drew it 1st, scan it and then paint it in photoshop... kinda weak on my photoshop paint.There's another drawing I did for the same theme which I'll do it maybe tomorrow or the next day. >D

I've Been Killing Zombies Lately, How Bout You?

ahahaha...minor mistake there, suppose to be 'ferociously', not fearlessly...blur adi me. >D

Hahaha...the game screenshot is a mod version, so it's not for real. But I kinda decided to make a short comic out of it. This game is by far good for an online co-op game. Who doesn't like shooting and blowing zombie's head off? It's fun! Yeah, so they used to be humans...but you can't reason with a zombie ,can you? This game you only play one of the 4 survivors to your choosing in a Campaign or a single player mode. In the versus mode, you get to play one of the special zombie characters (except for the witch) and it's fun playing with other players from other places/country. But you need to have Steam in order to play online with others, which means you have to get Original. U get offline you can only play the Single Player where the rest of the player will be controlled by bot , and you can LAN connect with others nearby but need to create a game through the console and connect to the host's IP .Too complicating? Buy the original!...it's fun! >D

What!? A zombie ask me to shoot him! Is there a problem? 0_o
- Johnny_Raven to Dpshk(HK) -

Buy it, Play it... Enjoy It.